i wan not born to give up!!!!!

hindi ko ikakaila.. im in the stage of my life where nothing seems ryt all of a sudden... i have so many problems...

sa family, school, socially, emotionally, physically...

im losing grip... feeling ko konti na lng... pwo i know i should not give up...

i was not born to give up!!! ive been thru so much in the past... nagun pa ba ako susuko...? e nung ngksakit ako for fifteen years di nga ako sumuko eh...nagun pa kya? duh... no!!! i resist! i insist! i will break thru! i will survive!! i know everything will alright in the end! i know...i just know... di ako pinabayaan ng Dyos.. and he wont desert me this time!!!!!!!!

jia you simsim!!!! jia you!!!!


just believe... i just hve to believe,,, endurance is the key!! panu na lng kung ako ang sumuko?? panu na??

losing grip..

matagl narin akong hindi nkpgsulat dito sa blog ko..mga ilang linggo nrin... hhmm...

the last time i wrote in here was wen i was physically dying... and now im writing to you agen dying... emotionally dying... but not like in the past wen i was really dead... this time.. its kinda mellow but it still affects me...

im having this dilemma of how to deal with the pain of being stuck in between... being stuck in between right and good, responsibility and duties and the feelings of the past and present...

the agony of not knowing where i should stand or go is tormenting... if i were to choose i'd rather be sleeping like before, stagnant like a water in a pond. independently making her own style and life...

now tell me... where should i go? what should i ought to feel? should i be moving forward or should i be taking a step back... tell me...

clamourings of a very sick girl!!!

hai... apat na araw na akong may fever... sunday ng mdaling araw pa un ngstart on and off itoh.. sa hapon nwawala xa pwo sa gabi upto madalng araw ang taas ng fever ko... kanina, ngpacheck na ako for typhoid and then tomorrow for dengue namn... gusto ko ng pumasok... sa school at sa work... nabuburo lng ako dito lalo lng ako ngkksakit.. ito na so far ang pinkagrabe kong sakit kc normally di nmn ako dinadapuan ng sakit eh... cguwo bumaba ng sbra ung immune system ko kya ngksakit ako.. miss ko na coc.., mga frens ko.. kakhiya nga kc bgla akong ngtago... e kc nmn khit bumangon sa kama di ko kaya.. khit mglkad ng mhba-hba npapagod na ako..


sana nmn la akong complications na severe.. kc ayoko ma-ospital... dahil it reminds me of my papa... gusto ko ng pumasok!! gusto ko ng mgwork! sana by fri or monday pwede na ako bumalik... sabi sa medical certificate ko ang initial findings sa akin ay Systematic Viral Infection VS Typhoid Fever R/o Urinary Tract Infection. balak pa ata nila ako iadmit! AYOKO NGA!!!! oo!! mtigas ang ulo ko!! ayoko mgpaadmit!!! kya nga pla gising pa ako hnggng ngaun kc feeling ko sa twing humihiga ako o kya ntutulog bumabalik ung lgnat ko... kya ayoko matulog... kya naisipan ko na lng mgblog...



iddrop ko n nga pla ung sbjct kong polgov and stats.. la ako matutunn sa knila.. kukunin ko na lng sa summer... at least mkkpgfocus ako... :D pra rin khit papanu mbgyn ko ng atensyon ung major play ng class, para makatulong... :D kc headache tlga akin ung 2subjects na un eh!!! ang BWISIT ang mga TEACHERS!!!!!


ayokong matulog!! ayokong matulog! ayokong matulog!!! wwwaaahhh!!!


nga pla... ive had sme realizations... narealize ko na... kaylngn ko n tlga xang pabyaan...kc he doesn't care about me... and that's the saddest truth... :(