**you wouldn't want to be in my shoe....**

"bakit ko pa susbukan na iwan ka at mabuhay ng wala ka kung alam ko namang hindi ko kaya..?!"

im in daze the whole day... alam ko marami dpt akong gawin, pwo hindi ko nagawa...
nanuod lng ako ng TV buong araw... ang dami kong iniisp...^_^

im worried about him....ayoko ung ganito! na hindi ko lam kung anu ngyyri sa knya..kung asan xa! ayaw na ayaw kong umalis sa tabi nia na alam kong mayroon xang dinaramdam... natatkot ako sa kung anong pwedeng nyang gawin... damn, naiiyak na ako! :(

hindi ko alm kung anu ngyyri sakin...pero buong arw na ito! i can't seem to get my mind off him! i'm worried, that's all i know... scared and worried...

my dream last night, it wasn't good... he told me that's he's leaving... than i woke up having a painful heart. i don't want him to go... i just can't go on without him... for as long as i know he needs someone, i can't go and i wouldn't want him to go... the mere thought of him leaving scares me, i can't see him go away,, not again...

i know im being selfish! i know that! the world can call me selfish, conceited... anything! but still, they won't understnd how i feel... how much i treasure him... how much he means to me... well,i can let him go if i want to...i'll just tell him to go and that i'll be fine... but i cant! i dont want to! coz i know that i won't be alright! i wont be alright!!!! for once, i want the one person who matters to me stay... stay... my father left me when he died... my bestfriend did when he migrated... i was nver the same..!

important men in my life seem to have a pattern,and that is too leave me... and now that i can decide if he shall stay, then why the hell would i allow him to go? why?
tell me...?

i'm so sorry for being selfish... i just cant let him go...again...
i'm sorry...